September 23, 2023: Refuge Coffee Run 5K

October 1 prelude: As I finished a post-race cooldown mile on September 23, Bonnie called me with the news that her brother-in-law, John Dougherty, was being rushed to the hospital due to a heart attack at home. 20 - 30 minutes later came the tragic news that John could not be saved. John was only 54 years old. He was married to my sister-in-law Sunny Youn for less than a year. This weekend we traveled to New Jersey for John's funeral on September 30, the same weekend that one year ago we had attended the festivities around their October 1, 2022 wedding. 

John and Sunny, at the post-wedding brunch October 2, 2022

Sunny and John with our parents-in-law at the pae-baek, 
a Korean wedding tradition. 

family photo at the wedding venue

I last saw John in August when he and Sunny visited Atlanta for a week - a week that coincided with our father-in-law's US citizenship exam. We joined a celebratory brunch after Dad's successful test. John was so proud that our father-in-law was now a US citizen. To quote John and his appreciation of his / our own birthright citizenship, compared with much of the rest of the world, "we're born on third base." For this race that celebrates our local immigrant community, I've written this blog post in memory of John Dougherty. The rest of this account is as I remember the morning, before knowing of the tragedy that was befalling John.

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I arrived about 75 minutes before the start of the race, to get the first five miles of a nine-mile day. Due to a mix-up in communication from Atlanta Track Club, incorrectly indicating that we wouldn't have a group run this weekend, I decided to register for this race, which I've run several times, most recently in September 2022. Part of my five miles before the race was a circuit of the race course, followed by one mile toward Atlanta on the PATH trail, savoring memories of marathon training long runs on this route last winter, then back to the starting area at the Refuge Coffee Company. 

I made it back to my car a couple of blocks from the start with just enough time to change into a dry singlet and a fresh pair of running shoes. I lined up with Lindy Liu and Ellen Ausley. Lindy asked about my goal, my answer "27 - 28 minutes." I had run faster last year, but wanted to focus on running half-marathon pace for 2.5 - 3 miles, instead of trying to run as past as possible from the start. And we were off! Our large group, over 500 strong this year, streamed across Ponce de Leon Avenue and across the railroad tracks, making a left turn past a car with passengers that found itself stopped by our group, then a right turn onto Norman Road into residential Clarkston. I was running fairly easily as we headed downhill toward Milam Park, but not exceeding 9 min / mile. About 5 minutes in, we started uphill, but I felt surprisingly fresh despite more than 5 miles on my legs for the morning. A resident was handing out bottles of water for their personal water station in front of their home. It was a little early in a race for me to take water, plus I didn't want to carry a bottle for most of the race, but I appreciated the gesture. Making a left turn onto Otello Avenue, a cheer group was singing "Good morning to you!" accompanied by a tambourine or similar instrument. I flashed a smile and called back "Good morning!" as we passed the mile 1 sign, 8:47 elapsed. 

Turning right on Echo Woods Drive, I enjoyed the last downhill section of the race. Looping back onto Otello, we had a steep uphill that in some years has reduced me to walking, but this year I was determined to shorten my stride but keeping working my way up the hill. I passed a young girl in this section, who sprinted ahead of me as soon as we turned onto Otello, but I ended up passing her for good. We passed a home with a large scroll posted in front of the property, which I had photographed earlier that morning. The poem reads: 

"In my corner of this diverse hood,

Where a full life's passions have withstood,

I cherish hobbies that I hold dear, 

But let me make one thing crystal clear. 

I tinker with cars, my lifelong dream,

To mend their hearts and make them gleam,

But selling or fixing for others, I do not strive,

My love for them, it's me who keeps alive. 

I resurrect relics, old toys I mend,

A story of revival, my chosen trend,

To judge me without facts, oh, it's unkind,

For I cherish the treasures that I find. 

On this property where my heart resides,

I care for my dad, my duty abides,

An 82-year-old soul, who needs my hand,

In this chaotic life where I proudly stand.

Before 24, I had triumph and fell,

Lived through experiences, as my stories tell,

Now in my forties, I continue to grow,

Learn, build, and collect, with a unique glow. 

I don't tread the path of a follower's role, 

I craft my own story, with heart and soul,

If you seek the truth, knock on my door,

And perhaps, you'll enter wonderland's floor. 

But to judge me by appearance or name,

Is a lesson in life, a hurtful claim,

My life's a whirlwind, I walk my own way, 

So, before you invent tales, let facts have their say

If you're new here, welcome with grace,

In this neighborhood, there's no HOA's embrace,

We're different, diverse, and that's our strength,

Let's respect each other, go to any length. 

For those who play the "Karen" Game,

No satisfaction you'll find or claim,

Check your facts before you speak and chide,

Inventing stories, let's set them aside. 

Ahmed, in this version, stands unique and true,

A life well-lived, with experiences to accrue.

Have a wonderful day, enjoy our diversity's flame

In this neighborhood, we'll never be the same. 

______

With a left turn onto Erskine Road, we soon turned onto the PATH trail, between downtown Atlanta to Stone Mountain Park. This section is the nicest part of the entire trail in my opinion, through a little forest, enjoying the quiet insulation from the street on our left and the railroad tracks to our right. Mile 2, 8:58. Just about right for goal half-marathon pace. A young child was running with their father, and was moving impressively quickly even though the child was probably in an elementary school grade. Originally I wasn't going to pass them, but after a while it just made sense for me to go around. Then the PATH trail left the forest, returning through town. I was still running just under a 9 min/ mile pace, recognizing that I was just a few blocks from the final turn to the finish. Crossing Norman Road, we had just one block that was a fairly significant uphill. For the first time today, the cumulative miles began to take their toll, and I had to struggle mentally not to take a walk break, so close to the finish. I passed the mile 3 marker in 8:42, 26:28 elapsed. Hmm, that was my finishing time in this race on the same course last year. 

As I passed the mile 3 marker, I literally felt the energy drain from my body. I don't know what happened, but it was a struggle to make the right turn, get over the railroad tracks, and cross Ponce de Leon Avenue to reach the finish line, not that far away. I managed to keep running, although a couple of people passed me in that final stretch. It took me more than a minute to get to the finish line, completing the race in 27:34 chip time. 

The last 0.11 mile.
It doesn't look that far away after the race....

All of these photos were taken well after I completed my race

I managed to cool down and catch my breath after a few minutes. Before rigor mortis set into my legs, I went on an easy one mile jog, to complete 9 miles total for the day. I was at my car, changing into a fresh shirt, when Bonnie called to tell me that John was being transported to the hospital by ambulance, having had a heart attack at home. I was shocked by the news, but tried to reassure Bonnie that people survive heart attacks as long as they get prompt treatment. I walked back to the start-finish area, where the announcer was naming the winners, then age-group champions. Having run a minute slower than last year (3rd place finish in 2022), I didn't expect anything, but to my shock, my name was called for the men, ages 60 - 64 age group! The age group awards were these cute toy globes, in line with the race theme. 

It was then, as I was walking back to my car, that Bonnie called again to tell me that John Dougherty had passed away. It must have been a massive heart attack, and while the emergency team had arrived quickly, there was not much that could be done other than to cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) in the back of the ambulance into the hospital emergency room. 

Bonnie and I have lost a lot of friends and acquaintances in 2023, all before they were truly "old": 

• January 2023: Hee-Yoon Lee, age 64, one of my best friends from graduate school and a groomsman at our wedding
• April 2023: Josh Kenyon, age 56, one of Bonnie's former co-workers
• July 2023: Ron Simpson, age 65, one of Bonnie's current co-workers
• September 2023: John Dougherty, age 54. 

Hold those dear to you closely.

Make every day the best it can be. 

Life is all too short, no matter how young or old one is.